i have (a cautionary tale)

have
i really
been so form-
fixed? so captivated
by illusion? have i really been
trusting this running feeling inside
and calling it faith? have i really been
constructing such cohesive arguments that,
seen from a distance, more closely resemble chalk
outlines on the walls of a prison? have i decorated my cell?
have i been laughing at smiles and calling it funny? or lying myself
into the reflection of a mirror? have i been too caught up to notice
this sense of emptiness inside? have i been staring for weeks
at a cracked portrait of Dorian, calling it Francis, and
knowing better all the time? have i been too busy
to realize that this feeling i call boredom is
nothing more than a sadness waiting
its turn to walk outside? have i
not seen the clouds? the
rains of September
encroaching
upon the May
showers of nursery-
rhymed fame? have i forgotten
the sublime release of parking lot liberation?
have i really grown so comfortable in the arms
of my beloved that i've forgotten the arms of my Beloved?
have i seen these questions, lined up like dominoes,
and remained blind to the silent beauty of their
arrangement? have i dreamed of the
cowherd boy, incarnation of
Krishna, toppling the
first, and listened
for the answer
falling all
around
me?