(w)retching v. fetching

last night a thought occurred to me:

is it better to be a fetching wretch, or a retching fetch?

my initial reaction was that fetching wretch was the way to go, but my impulse was born of linguistic prejudice. it feels good in the mouth, something about the "g" sound's (near) elision with the "r," that beautiful silent "w" sandwiched in between.

and yet the whole matter became more complicated when i stopped to consider what i was saying. the implacable nature of wretchedness is a heavy burden to bear, especially when weighed against the passing discomfort of retching. perhaps i had it all wrong, for who would trade the pleasant deceit of vision for the unchanging divinity of sight?

"i think i need to think about this some more."

the response?

"yes, it sounds like that's exactly how you need to spend your time..."