a letter arrived yesterday

i got a letter from Mardou yesterday after a long, uncomfortable weekend of sadness. this time last year Mardou was the (apparent) source of my sadness, but yesterday's package was a blessing. inside was a picture of her, golden, blond and shining in front of a Caribbean blue wall full of words. it was taken in Jamaica during the months we spent not talking, and it brought tears to my eyes.

every thing has a purpose and place and time.

i talked to the current (apparent) source of my sadness last night and told her i was sick of not talking, not calling, not sharing - all because i was afraid of spoiling some illusory notion of us. i told her freedom was more important to me than romance, and i wasn't willing to trade one for the possibility of the other any longer.