Thursday, January 8, 2009

dreams, minutia and the Fear

yesterday between classes i sat around talking with a French-speaking Romanian about the malicious nature of nostaligias. she was unpersuaded by my arguments, and it was refreshing to talk with someone more concerned with nuance than minutia. but this is beside the point.

the point is that i dreamed last night of waves crashing higher and higher, closer and closer, until they threatened to tear down the little room with the big windows sitting by the sea. i woke at 4am, afraid and uncertain. eventually i fell back asleep.

when i woke this morning the Fear was gone, and i thought back to Sumati-ji and what she said about the (foolish) water (really) believing it was a wave.

maybe tonight i will dream of waves a little higher, a little bit closer. maybe one morning i will wake and realize i've been swimming in it all along.

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