i don' know why.
i don't think it's the math.i don't think it's the trinity.
i don't think about it at all.
but i feel it.
i went for a ride today in a convertible, blindfolded, and had my chart read by a woman who isn't my mother. she told me my Gemini was ascendant. she told me i form meaning by means of montage and juxtaposition. i placed what she said next to the other thoughts in my mind and ate cheesecake under the watchful eye of a macaw named Taco.
i took off the blindfold and saw a room of friends i once knew as strangers. i read well-wishes from people i love in San Francisco. i did not want to think about the night ahead. my best friend cried in my living room. he asked me to give him permission to feel okay.
i walked him to his car and told him i was getting married.
i watched the woman i love age fifty years in the blink of an eye.
i loved her still. i loved her dying and frail.
i loved her after i was gone.
this body i call my own will not survive.
someday these words will wither into dust.
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