a mild case of poisoning in the name of mental health

as part of my latest experiment, i dosed myself last night with 425 mg of cascara sagrada. i've been doing a cleanse since Monday, and other than nabbing some Wilco tickets yesterday, the past days have been filled with a mix of sadness and anticipation. i have two competing theories regarding the source of these emotions, but
this is beside the point.

the point is that my better judgment has kept me within 15 feet of the bathroom most of the morning, an experience akin to intestinal house arrest. this current cleanse has eliminated sugar, caffeine, coffee, milk, bread, and cheese, leaving few culinary treats beyond the occasional herbal tea and tree bark laxative. this, coupled with other unmentionable sundry factors, has left me with the words of degenerate genius Charles Bukowski ringing in my ears:

"I worry too much about my god damned soul."