rediscovery of existential dream from October 2009

a dream of my own death sentence,
an exile to some rocky alcove by the sea.

i have thoughts of escape,

but

want to face my destiny.

i wonder:
should i:

wait to starve

or

swim into the sea.

i'm afraid the water is cold;
the sensation of drowning;
a wave splashes my leg;

my fears are quelled.

yet -

i still do not know.

(instead)

i stand by the pebbled rocky shore

waiting for a sign to die

not knowing how i got there.