Showing posts with label vegetarianism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vegetarianism. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Last night's dream and soundtrack

Press play, then continue...



Dream of a giant collegiate cafeteria.  The ages of students range from mid-teens to late-twenties,  and Foster the People's "Pumped Up Kicks" is pulsing over the sound system. I notice first and second-year co-eds moving their hips to the music, unconsciously playing their part in the mating ritual that gives rise to birth that gives rise to death that gives rise to birth that gives rise to...
(whisper, "liberation")

I see them age ten years in the blink of an eye, twenty more in the time it takes to take a deep breath. I see them not as young beautiful bodies, but as old beautiful spirits, trapped inside an aging decaying form...

 (whisper, "nothing")

The food on the buffet is overcooked and lifeless. I search ardently for something that isn't meat, futilely for vegetables that aren't oversteamed and drowning in cheese. In the corner I see my boss, alone at a booth under a stairwell. She is sitting alone with two glasses of red wine, both hers, and a pay telephone on the table. 
(whisper, "awake")

Friday, November 25, 2011

Top 10 Thanksgiving Dinner Conversations

Last night my yin and I enjoyed a veritable feast in Homestead: tuna tartare, fresh tabbouleh, homemade vegan marshmallows, pavlovas, barley salad, roasted asparagus, and the insanely delicious lime caviar:

 But this is beside the point.

The point is that yesterday's tofu-making enterprise failed to materialize, squeezed out by the above-mentioned delicacies... and the conversations listed below:

Top 10 Thanksgiving Dinner Conversations
 
10. James Gilligan's disease model of violence.


9. The search for the perfect email address.

8. Game theory and orders of infinity. 

7. The problem with charter schools.

6. Who's worse: AT&T or Comcast?

5. How to make $40 million/year. 

4. Mersenne primes that aren't.

3. "Jeffrey" versus "Jeffery." 

2. Symbiosis with Siri.            

                          1. The Illuminati.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

in lieu of turkey

Later today my yin and I will be making the trek south to share a Thanksgiving meal with our cousins in Homestead.  Rather than ranting about the holiday like I did last year, I've decided to take a more measured approach.... by making tofu.

make tofu, not war

This will be just one of the many new experiences I've had over the past weeks (new job, new phone, new wardrobe), and by virtually ant metric, it should be one of the least important.  Nonetheless, I must admit to a certain amount of trepidation.  Sometimes knowledge serves to ease anxiety, but when it comes to food, sometimes the processes involved in their production are enough to turn one's stomach.  In fact, you can read about how turkeys get made here.

i
m
age
(thankfully)
miss
in
g

With regard to the tofu, though, I'm less concerned about the blood and feathers and murder than I am the cheesecloth.  For starters, I don't know what cheesecloth is, much less what, if anything, it has to do with cheese.  I think maybe I saw it once as a kid, somewhere in my mother's kitchen.  Although not a particularly accomplished chef, my mom has been known to get on various culinary kicks, and she sometimes talks about making yogurt back in the Seventies and early Eighties.

These sorts of second-hand reminiscences are odd because they have a way of inserting themselves into one's memory so neatly that it becomes nearly impossible to distinguish the things we've been told a million times from the things we actually remember.  Of course sometimes I wonder if that's all memory ever is – the things we tell ourselves often enough to become real. The past gradually accrues a certain mass, an unmistakable pull akin to gravity, both in its invisibility and its undeniability. 

But this is beside the point.

The point is that I've been looking forward to today for weeks now, ever since our cousin told us she planned to prepare tuna tartare. It's been well over a year since I've had fish, and in the past couple of months I've felt my body craving more protein.   All the tempeh and beans and tofu in the world still fall short when it comes to protein density, and tuna is far and away my favorite seafood. So, I suppose I'' break with my vegetarianism later today and indulge in a hefty helping of animal protein and mercury.

But first, I plan to make that tofu, and instagr.am the whole experience with my fancy new phone. With any luck, I'll be able to eat what we make...

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

redux: weddings, La Cienega and Agra

One year ago I went to a wedding:


The sun rose behind the clouds, moving from hidden to vermillion to amber curtains of light pouring down onto the ocean. The full moon hung in the western sky, almost as if it was waiting to hear the "I do," and it occurred to me that the same moon was just beginning to rise in Agra, where my yin was visiting the Red Fort:

how far apart are these places:
8000 miles? a 20 hour flight? 9½ hours worth of time zone?

These places are one moon away from each other, one moon that holds the day in perfect harmony with the night. I thought about these things as the preacher gave his sermon. I thought about four years earlier, when I stepped foot on this particular beach for the first time. So much has changed since then, and yet to the sand and the beach and the ocean and the moon it was nothing. It was less than nothing – a blink of the eye, slip of the tongue, a cliché waiting to happen:

Time is a scam; a beautiful, inexplicably lovely scam.

do these denizens of Agra ever worry about time?

I have heard people liken the mind to a monkey:

"There goes my monkey mind again."

But these types of statements are an affront to monkeys the world over.

The mind - at least the mind prevalent in this part of the world during this time in history - is better compared to the ruthless precision of Swiss watches. A Rolex-ed tyranny of minutes and minutia, seconds and second-guessing. To live and breathe and swing from trees is the privilege and birthright of humans and monkeys alike. Have you ever heard a child ask:

"Do i have enough time to climb this tree?"

How about La Cienega, do you think she wonders about time in Nepal?

No; we were in communication this very morning:

La Cienega wrote:
the author responded:
7:29am
in joying india ??
7:29am
that is fantastic!
[my yin] is in Agra right now.
7:30am
Life is!!!
You no
7:30am
alas, no. school. writing thesis.
saw picture of you and carrots. lovely.
7:30am
hmm...thought of you a bunch of times...in Kathmandu hehehe...from months ago! Lost my camera..boohoo
7:30am
we're already planning a future traipse.
cameras are overrated, a poor substitute for the creativity of memory.

7:32am
I agree! I actually havent taken many pictures...the crew i was travlling with did! So entering Nepal alone i took on the camera...crossed the border...no more camera!

7:32am
how long are you staying?
7:32am
???

7:32am
beautiful. have you been to Bhutan?
7:33am
In love! Yes! It is Beautiful! One of the 13 grandmothers lives there...a nepalese shaman!
Hope to connect wioth her when she returns to nepal
7:33am
envy. someday someday someday...
7:34am
if you truly desire you WILL make it manifest!!

7:35am
agreed. envy, like all emotions, is beautiful in its impermanence.
7:35am
When do you and [your yin] enter into sacred union

7:35am
last Sunday in February.
7:38am
Beautiful!!! You are a most beautiful pair!!! May all the love that is, continue to radiate from each of you!!! and spread out over the whole world!!!! Radiant love!!! Yum! Thank you for the blessing of your presence in my life! Often you come into my heart and my mind and i am lost in love and gratitude!!! Please know this! So much love and gratitude!!!


7:39am
always and ever the same.
love, light, and safe travels.
every moment is a gift.

Conversations like these, scattered and infrequent though they be, is why i call her La Cienega:



And while La Cienega is never beside the point, I should nonetheless return to the wedding...

There were three flower girls, the youngest of whom had a shiner and trailed behind her sisters (or cousins) saying "you dropped some" and pointing to the petals in the sand. It was adorable, the magnificent fragility of life and the imponderable resiliency of children. How sad it is that, as we grow older, each of us has to learn that we can be hurt. Even sadder, however, is that we come to believe that we can be injured in a way that dampers our spirit and being.

The preacher giving the service spoke to these things in his own obtuse way. It was a more traditional service than the one my yin and I would have six months later, but I was able to listen for the truths he spoke rather than becoming lost in the semantics. I was reminded once more that the largest difference between Christian theology and Eastern thought (at least as it's been taught to me) is a matter of which state one calls 'acquired' and which state one calls 'natural.'

In other words, how original is our sin?

a Rose by any other name...

Maybe I'll end up becoming a Christian mystic like Dostoevsky and see grand mal visions of the Divine and pen great sweeping novels with unpronounceable characters' names. Maybe I'll write heartfelt accounts of normal people, flawed and anonymous, that come to represent the shifting tides of history as an empire begins to collapse upon itself.

How far apart are 19th century St. Petersburg and 21st century Washington?

The wedding and sunrise were followed by breakfast, and I made small talk with friends and strangers while my mind pondered Dostoevsky. I questioned an acquaintance about her vipassana retreat and asked the server to prepare me a plate without any meat. In spite of this, the ocean breeze smelled like bacon.

After the cake was cut, I wished my friend congratulations. She is one of those special maniacs that does things like build surfboards in her free time and sews dresses for the bridesmaids. I still remember three years ago, when she attempted to set me up with her roommate and fed me a spinach-feta burger with sweet potato fries. The match-making didn't take, though, and that night I walked the beach with Mardou.

But this is beside the point.

The point is that I spoke with my yin after the wedding and gave her a brief recap. She told me about Agra and sent a picture of the Taj Mahal, as seen from the Red Fort:

more of the Taj to follow...

My favorite, though, was this one of her with a half-Canadian:

"looks like you got laid," i observed.

Alas, getting laid is also beside the point... at least for the time being.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

redux: on (someday) turning 90

Last year my yin and I went to her mother's cousin's boyfriend's birthday party at his country club, and although this sounds like the start of some impossibly long and complicated joke, it is actually the simple truth.

(Note: no truth
- even if true -
is ever simple.)

But this is beside the point.

The point is that it was this mother's cousin's boyfriend's ninetieth birthday. To put this fact in perspective, one has to remember that when this mother's cousin's boyfriend was born, alcohol was illegal and the 19th Amendment was only six weeks old.

But this is also beside the point (as well as overly didactic) and fails to adequately set the mood.  The point is:

We walk into the clubhouse to find a room full of gray hair, red wine and mimosas. We say hello to the mother's cousin's boyfriend and then locate a corner table where the mother's other cousin (the one with the boat, not the boyfriend) sits with his wife. We sit with them, answering questions about my yin-in-law and her beau until they arrive. At which point, we continue answering questions, albeit more quietly.

After drinks we move one room west and take our place at table #4. There are perhaps 45 people scattered about, fewer than ten are under 40, and disinterested servers move from table to table asking, "Chicken, salmon, or prime rib?"
(the room is too hot)

I ask for a vegetarian plate, and after a house salad and rolls, a bowl full of over-cooked veggies doused in butter arrives. I try not to think about it, thinking (wishfully?) 'at least it's not margarine' as I attempt to eat around the spinach, which has been cooked so thoroughly that its characteristically vibrant green has been transformed into a hue resembling nothing so closely as pine needles at the height of wreath season. At this point my yin and I exchange a grateful look, wordlessly acknowledging the wisdom of our decision to forgo a traditional caterer for our upcoming matrimony.

After the main course there are speeches, and ultimately a ten minute DVD montage of the mother's cousin's boyfriend's life. I find it fascinating, especially how the change from black and white to color film stock in the Sixties marked both a metaphoric and historical break in the story being told. I saw not only the Polaroid emergence of a post-War consumer society, but also the tipping point in the mother's cousin's boyfriend's life as he crossed over the threshold from youth to middle-age. The pictures of the soldier and young husband and father were suddenly gone, replaced by a man whose children were nearly grown, whose remaining years seemed less certain.

this is the deceitful nature of images.

In the mother's cousin's boyfriend's life I saw the history of America in the 20th century, from Depression


to War


to the Boom


 that followed the Bomb


I watched the mother's cousin's boyfriend move from the Bronx to Harlem to Paramus, New Jersey - the decline and white flight from the burroughs across the Hudson, Jews and Gentiles alike.


I watched children appear and grow into parents.
I watched parents, and then siblings, fade from the picture.

(do photographs,
as Benjamin argues,
truly destroy the aura?)

The mother's cousin's boyfriend told the story of a boat ride in 1936. it began at the Bowery, Hudson-bound, and stopped at 125th Street, where the mother's cousin's boyfriend's childhood friend had arranged to meet two girls. One of them, named R______, became his wife.

They were together 70 years before she passed.

How much death does the most fortunate among us witness? Is watching our loved ones die the price we pay to ascend to the title of patriarch? Of matriarch? Is this why our elders see so much so clearly?
(a final question)

Placed next to

the unintelligibility of death|the problems of life

How can
compare?

[lapse]

After this video came the group photo, which may someday resurface at his 95th or 100th birthday. It was another tiny fragment of life enshrined and embalmed - the present moment ferried by the camera into the past...

Friday, August 26, 2011

near misses , or (that's) "The Way It Goes"

Hurricane Irene skated by the coast of South Florida yesterday afternoon, and other than a handful of jackasses being knocked around by waves up the road at Boynton Inlet, the area has once more escaped damage. In fact, since I moved here a little less than five years ago, there have been no tropical weather related maladies, and I sometimes like to credit this fact to my mere presence.

(Yes, that is the sound of me removing my tongue from my cheek.)

Anyway, this year's August has thus far been defined by near misses. The week I left North Carolina, for example, Neko Case played not once, not twice, but three times within a three-hour radius of Boone. And tonight, while I'm lurking around like some curtain-bound cave-dweller, my yin, my brother, and his wife are going to see Gillian Welch at App State:


"That's the way that it goes..."

It isn't all sour grapes, though. Besides Irene missing us, earlier this week I narrowly avoided a head-on collision with past karma at one of my workplaces, and at the other school I was fortunate enough to receive a warning ticket instead of the real thing after inappropriately backing into a parking spot.

But poorly chosen automotive metaphors are beside the point.

The point is that yesterday one of my students spoke about the importance of timing when it comes to communication. It was an insightful observation, and this past week has done nothing so much as reinforce this idea. Often times we get so lost in the 'should and should not happens' that we forget we are ultimately not the ones in charge.

Time and timing follow a logic all their own, and the difficulties arise only when we begin to think that we could orchestrate it better. But the near misses are just as important, just as meaningful, just as rife with possibility as the times when things go exactly the way we want. Of all the qualities I've heart exhorted as virtuous, patience is undoubtedly the least contentious.

In fact, the ability to wait, easefully, for the right moment to present itself is the goal of all my metaphysical pursuits and interests. It is the reason I was meditating before 6am this morning, the reason I find myself living a life that seemed equally unlikely whether one chooses a time frame of 5 or 10 or 15 years. I accept and celebrate the time and Timing of these things; I do not covet God-Realization, Enlightenment, Nirvana, or Heaven.

[lapse]

Coming full circle, Neko Case has some things to say about this as well:


"I have waited with a glacier's patience..."

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Honeymoon Day 26: Jerome

After leaving the Grand Canyon, my yin and I spent the night in Kaibab National Forest. As with Yosemite, the campgrounds were full at the North Rim, but campers were allowed to take advantage of "dispersed campsites" in the forests outside the park free of charge. The nice thing about this was that it allowed us to sleep in a totally isolated area – no drunken college students (Big Sur), no singing Boy Scouts (Bryce), no screaming children (Zion).

The unfortunate thing was that it dropped down to almost freezing that night, and my yin and I woke before dawn to the sound of chattering teeth. We later confessed to one another that each of us had secretly tried to imagine how long until the sunrise because it meant we could finally break camp and get out of the freezing cold. The upside to the hypothermia, however, was that we got an early start that morning. Soon found ourselves entering another country:



I'm still not clear on exactly how the whole reservation system thing works, but I do know that it felt a little odd driving through the Navajo Nation in northern Arizona. I once heard Angela Davis refer to our treatment of Native Americans as "the great American apartheid", and what I saw seemed to confirm her analysis. Far from the apparent wealth of the tribes that have built and licensed casinos throughout the United States, all I saw driving down Highway 89 was poverty.

It saddened me, and the giant rock outcroppings of the Marble Canyons inspired snippets of verse:

Navajo reservations:
life in the mesa's shadow
(the silhouettes of)
vermillion cliffs
monsters in the daytime
and ghosts in the night.

The camera even got into the act, and the image below perfectly surmises the contradiction between the material poverty of the reservation, the majesty of the natural landscape, and the spiritual poverty of the nation surrounding the Nation:


(the billboard also shows why we chose not to go to the South Rim)

Eventually we came to Wupatki National Monument, which is about an hour or so north of Flagstaff. This was another of our unplanned stops and allowed us to glimpse both social and geologic history:


an Anasazi pueblo from the 12th century


lava flows not unlike those at Craters on the Moon


the San Francisco Mountains as seen from Sunset Crater

There was also this strange flower called Apache plume. The encounter with new plant species was one of the most consistently (and unexpectedly) rewarding parts of the trip for me, especially considering the fact that I can hardly tell a chickpea from a garbanzo bean:


Apache plume is without medicinal use, but does help prevent erosion

This was also the day that took us across parts of Route 66, which, once upon a time, connected Chicago to Los Angeles:


yes, that is our car antenna – the dangers of windshield photography

Much like Kerouac's On the Road, Route 66 was rendered a work of nostalgia by the advent of the interstate highway system, and now all that remains of its former vitality is a series of ill-kept marquees and billboards:


not exactly sure what the "European hostess" is meant to imply...


I wonder what "kicks" lurk inside this fine establishment?

After passing through Flagstaff, we followed Oak Creek Canyon down 2,000 feet into the stunning red rocks that surround and define Sedona. It was a warm Sunday afternoon, and there were cars lined up along both sides of the road. The entrance signs to the state parks and national forests along the way warned travelers "No Parking" and "Campsite Full", and my yin and I were a little nervous about the fact that we had no reservation.

Miraculously (or at least fortunately), we were able to secure a site at Manzanita Campground, and the park ranger told us that this was the first time since April that they hadn't been booked solid:


our campsite alongside Oak Creek

We told her we were hungry, and she directed us into Sedona:


our eventual destination

This restaurant, Sedona Chocolate, is the city's only purely vegetarian eatery (vegan actually), and most of the menu items are raw as well. Other than fruits and salad, I'm something of a skeptic when it comes to the whole raw food movement, but the Thai noodles I had were quite tasty:


noodles not pictured

They also had what appeared to be a giant orgone accumulator, or some other quasi-Reichian device that Burroughs undoubtedly endorsed between nods and hallucinations. It had a good look to it, though, and I suggested to my yin that she step inside so she could tune up her mojo:



With both her mojo and orgones in good working order, my yin and I headed westward towards the small town of Jerome, Arizona:



It was Saylor, back in San Francisco, who first told us about Jerome. At the start of the 20th century it was a booming copper town:


this lowered workers into the mineshaft


this is me, imitating said miners

When the price of copper fell, maintaining the mine became unfeasible and Jerome soon became a ghost town. It remained that way for more than fifty years, but during the last twenty it has become a haven for artists and artisans. Why they chose Jerome I have no idea, but my yin and I speculated that it was the overflow from Sedona as it grew more and more expensive.

The result is that Jerome is now half ghost town:



And half faux-Williamsburg:



Buddhas and hogs live side-by-side:



And prostitution has become a synecdoche for everything:



Even the post office (still in operation) is an accomplice to this ironic, quaintly contrived nostalgia:



Nonetheless, the downtown affords spectacular views of the old mine as well as the valley between Jerome and Sedona:



And I met a madman named Gabe who makes custom sundials:


my hand, not Gabe's

I was unable to ascertain whether he was:

A) a mathematical genius
B) completely insane
C) both answers A and B

But this is beside the point.

The point is that we returned to Sedona before sunset, and of all the towns we saw along our way it has to be the most beautiful. The earth is red, the sky is blue, the trees are green, and the white clouds float across them like dandelions in the wind:


to be continued...

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Honeymoon Days 10-11: Teton Village to Eugene

With some hesitance (and no regrets), my yin and I left Wyoming on Friday morning, making our way across the Teton Pass:


8431 feet

Along the way up the mountain, we saw several hitchhikers looking for rides, and if we had room, we would have certainly stopped to help one of them out. In the West, at least in these temperatures, every hitchhiker looks like a ski bum, and therefore picking them up seems safer than the scraggily roadside degenerates to which we're accustomed in Florida.

Of course, it's entirely possible that once the hitchhiker got in the car he (they were all men) might pull of his toboggan and look like Sideshow Bob:


But this is beside the point.

The point is that over the course of the day I learned that I have been wrong-headed about Idaho for all my life, relegating it to that class of states that are known only for their association to vegetables.

(Yes, I'm talking to you Indiana...)

This is totally inaccurate, though, and Idaho is actually quite beautiful, as shown by this view coming down the mountain into Boise:



It also has one of the strangest places I have ever been to, the Craters of the Moon National Monument, which was formed by lava flows back in the day:


the short hike we took

I tried taking pictures of the area, but none of them were really able to capture how truly bizarre this place is. The rocks have waves in them, and there are tiny wildflowers growing out of this alien landscape that appears to be completely and utterly barren.

There are also caves:


me, halfway through Indian Tunnel Cave

which were populated by bats, pigeons, and one fake owl:


the birds pay no mind

The exit also lent itself to nifty camera tricks:


using overexposure to increase drama

After leaving we decided to take another scenic route, this time heading north to the Sun Valley area so I could see Ketchum, where Ernest Hemingway killed himself in 1961. Sadly, the town is now nothing more than a posh ski resort without even a roadside historical marker (which are all over Idaho and Montana) to mark Papa's former presence:


I suppose suicides are frowned upon by the Chamber of Commerce...

From Ketchum we made our way up to the Galena Summit:



and then doubled back on the other side of the mountain range into Boise. As soon as we got to town, I asked a quirksome gas station attendant where to get the best fries in town. (Remember what I said about associating states with vegetables?) He directed us to place called Rocky's Diner:


not our picture

My yin and I arrived (starving) to see three girls rollerskating around the dining area and an emcee announcing that someone was taking "the challenge." One server had a giant plate of unidentifiable brown slop (the emcee said it was a chili cheeseburger), an identifiable giant plate of cheese fries, and a comparatively modest-sized chocolate milkshake (with whipped cream). We decided this probably wasn't the place for us and whispered a prayer for the man's colon as we exited the restaurant.

We ended up instead at Boise Fry Company, which was much lower key than Rocky's and had a in-house veggie burger option made from a quinoa and black bean base. This is my favorite dining spot thus far because not only did they promote local foodstuffs, they also had a half dozen species of potatoes to choose from and made absurdly gourmet ketchups like curry pear, sour thai, and blueberry. All this for less than ten bucks per person:



The next day we left Boise around sunrise and headed for Oregon, which was populated by all sorts of kitshy signs from a pre-interstate era:


I have no idea if the actual trail followed US-20


Bates Motel? really?


Who doesn't want steak and pancakes?


This one was actually in Idaho, but the same principle applies.

In fact, eastern Oregon looks much like Idaho:



and this trip (among other things) has helped to remind me that the distinctions between states are often based on arbitrary factors (historical, accidental, or otherwise) rather than actual cultural or geographic differences. In my mind, at least prior to this week, all of Oregon looked like the Twin Peaks opening credits:



This wasn't the case, however, until we reached Bend:



and entered into the Cascade Mountains proper. We made the long climb up the mountains with a piece of fresh-picked sage tucked into the air vent:


it smelled amazing

before finally making the long descent down the McKenzie highway into Eugene:


cinematography by my yin

to be continued...