the point is that i spoke with Saylor last night, who has had an exceptionally trying year. romance, finance, death, and educational woes have all come his way since January, and at times it seemed as if the San Francisco Bay itself were scheming against him. during our conversation, though, i had a sudden revelation that 2011 would be a red letter year for him. i have no basis for this conclusion, but felt it as certainly as an autumn wind on the nape of the neck, that gentle whisper of the coming winter that tells you it's time to pull the scarves out of the closet and walk a little more briskly from door to destination.
was it a premonition or hoax? what are the subtle clues were given each moment that allow us to differentiate between projection and insight? why do we engage distractions that block us from knowing?
i see it in myself sometimes, like my present predilection for the Heroes. there's a part of me that wants to justify this behavior by attributing it to the show's premise, which legitimately speaks to my childhood fascination and love of comic books.
clearly, i arrived a little late to the party
looking a little deeper, however, i suspect that this fondness of past times, of past things,of past memories is itself a distraction. it cannot help but move me away from the moment at hand, and in this separation i search for more reasons to explain away this distance.
Toutes les justifications sont des distractions.
but last night on the phone with Saylor there were no distractions, only the quiet certainty that the coming year (a prime number) will be more easeful than the last. that sort of clarity is the greatest gift any of us can receive, and it's easy to forget during this time of year, when the magnitude and range of diversions are unending. my wish for all my friends and family and strangers and colleagues is that they experience the peace already dwelling inside them.
photo and artwork by my yin
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