thankfully, one might say

this time last year, i was on the top floor of a condo building in Highland Beach, surrounded by chatzkis and feeling the gravitational pull of an actor who makes $20 million per film. but this is beside the point.

i
m
age
miss
in
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the point is that this year (thankfully, one might say) i attended a much lower key holiday soirée, at my yin's cousin's home in Homestead. for those unfamiliar with South Florida, Homestead is approximately one exit north of Cuba and bore the brunt of 1992's devastating Hurricane Andrew. people still talk about it here, but (thankfully, one might say) not my yin's cousin, whose preferred manner of discourse is best described as diatribe.

( what do you want for Christmas?
alliteration and repetition, please.)

this cousin held court in his living room, and (thankfully, one might say) launched into an hours-long discussion of Israel, compulsory military service, India's backwards religiosity, North Korea, South Korea, self-defense, chanting, nuclear weapons, Afghanistan, reverse-osmosis water filtration, genetics, education, drumming, and Kosherite law.

all of this transpired (thankfully, one might say) over a four course meal that included – at an absolute minimum – two of the most phenomenal dishes i've ever eaten in my life. my yin's cousin's wife is an exceptional chef (among myriad other skills) and it just so happens that the third Thursday in November brings her culinary talents to the fore.

the first dish was these bite-sized macaroni and cheese, which were prepared in a mini-muffin tin. this method maximizes the surface area to volume ratio, which in turn maximizes the crunchy crusty deliciousness that is the hallmark of any satisfying mac and cheese experience.

the second dish was a sweet potato/marshmallow desert-type thingee, except that my yin's cousin's wife makes her own marshmallows from scratch. i didn't even know such things were possible, and had always assumed they grew on some sort of freaky horse bone tree. these had no gelatin whatsoever though, and were perfectly charred on top like the campfire marshmallows of my youth.

then a game of Rock Band commenced (thankfully one might say) with me on drums, my yin on vocals, my yin-in-law on bass, and my yin's cousin's wife's daughter on the guitar. this is one of the songs we jammed out:

the night ended with cupcakes (thankfully, one might say) but not just any cupcakes. these were be-glittered, white chocolate, pre-wedding pieces of heaven topped with homemade icing. some of them had these edible pictures of my yin and i on them, and this really freaked me out. in a panic, i grabbed one of them and yelled at the top of my lungs, "take that ego!" as i chomped into it and devoured my own tiny head.

if only it were that easy...