there must have been a lot of sin in the air...

yesterday my yin and i were able to open our windows for the first time since early spring, enjoying a pleasant pre-dawn breeze that made the air conditioner superfluous. a mass of cool air has blanketed South Florida for the past 48 hours, and i keep trying not to get my hopes by thinking it will last us all the way to November.

but this is beside the point.

the point is that there must have been a lot of sin in the air yesterday because, by the end of the day, there were 36 cans of Diet Dr. Pepper in the living room, a dozen more in the trunk of my car, and 5 pints of ice cream in the freezer.

this is the ice cream in our freezer, like mana from heaven

when she got home, i told my yin two things:

1) don't look in the freezer.
2) it's not what it looks like.

the root of all this consumption, of course, was the confluence of sale and rebate at the local big box retailer. amazingly enough, however, all this sugary dairy goodness remained pristine and untouched last night, like an avid gamer on prom night. in fact, we retired not long after 9 o'clock and read Murakami in bed. this fact helps to explain not only why i woke at 5am this morning, but also why my dreams were so uncomfortable.

my present pleasant diversion

i'm reading Sputnik Sweetheart and finds aspects of the narrator's life eerily familiar. his relationship to the object of his gaze is not unlike one of my own past obsessions, but this, in and of itself, is problematic – the nature of obsession is the nature of obsession, too well-tread and well-read to be of much bother.

what truly disturbs me, though, is that i identify with the object of this gaze as well. as i read i find myself slipping back and forth, alternately becoming the voyeur and the seen. i think Jean-Paul Sartre had something to say on these matters, but it's too early in the morning to start digging through existential philosophy. suffice to say that this mood found its way into the Dreaming, and i began waking sometime after 4am. eventually i grew tired of falling back asleep, turned on the light, and started reading all over again...