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this week i began building my first website since 1996, which has proven to be a most engrossing task. thankfully i have been blessed with many, many hours of kiddie dance rehearsal to throw myself back into the .html world of web design. but this is beside the point.

the point is that, other than my disappointment with iWeb's blog template, the process has been relatively painless. it has also allowed me to note some key differences between:

1) the me i thought i was fourteen years ago; and



2) the me i think i am today

back then i was playing in a fledgling band, hoarding Converse One Stars, and deluded by visions of grandeur; now i write in a fledgling form, hoard Converse One Stars, and still suffer from delusions.

some things never change.

(untrue)

the difference is that grandeur has been replaced by delusions less obvious, and today i tell myself subtler lies like:

this is my body.
these are my thoughts.
i am a student. i am a teacher.

these things are untrue as well, but i have to keep reminding myself, and the most pernicious fallacy is the nagging persistent belief that i am an individual locked into my own insurmountable subjectivity

– the breath in my lungs, the sight in my eyes, the sound in my ears –

all of the seductive beauty that goes along with being human. it reminds me of a dinner conversation i had in January, but this is also beside the point.

the point is that i hope to have the site up and going within the next couple of weeks, check back here for details...