top 3 songs by black men, presumably about black women, that might as well have been written for my white Jewish wife

This song came on the radar sometime before our wedding back in February, popping onto the radio sometime during the drive back from school, probably during that nightly half hour from 9-9:30 when NPR switches over to Creole language programming.  Sometimes I listen, a little game to see how much of my French vocabulary is still lurking around up there.  As far as I can tell, the show is primarily a run-down of school board and public service announcements, but it could just as easily be discussing the price of tea in China.  Like most people who try to learn a second language as an adult, my fluency lags far behind my literacy.

But this is beside the point.

The point is that the Four Tops' "Ain't No Woman" is the most direct and accurate description of my yin.

This is another one I heard on the radio. just two nights ago on the way home from teaching my night class.  I've never taught this particular time slot before, and it seems to draw a much more diverse demographic.  Adults, high schoolers, soldiers, and blue collar workers trying to transition from jobs to careers – the night class at the community college pulls them all, which makes for some lively discussions. What unites them all, however, is there underlying desire to be somewhere else. 

But this is beside the point.

The point is that the Isley Brothers' "Who's That Lady", with its sinuous psychedelic guitar riffs, provides a reasonably accurate portrait of what it sounds like to see my yin dancing.

This song has been with me since childhood.  I am at the tail end of the once-ubiquitous Gen X, the generation that came of age when MTV played music and still thinks of Russia as the Soviet Union. This is the generation that saw hip-hop become the dominant musical force in popular culture, but can also remember seeing LL Cool J and Sir Mix-A-Lot videos played back to back with an unintelligible video for a song called "Smells Like Teen Spirit."  These postcards of urban life infiltrated not only the suburbs, but the rural areas as well, leading to the First Amendment battles of 2 Live Crew, Ice T's "Cop Killer", and the now laughable suicide scares surrounding Judas Priest and Ozzy Osbourne.

But this is beside the point.

The point is that LL Cool J's "'Round the Way Girl", with its chilled beats and understated braggadocio, reminds me of my yin's relaxed and virtually non-plussible demeanor...and this is precisely the point.