i have in my wallet...

a piece of paper. drawn on this piece of paper is the outline of a book. the diagram consists of three circles and six words. the circles are all connected and the center of each circle contains one section of the book.

on the other side of the piece of paper is the following:

title=in this outline of untitled book,

paper+ink=utterly beyond
the capacity of
your mind to
conceive.

the piece of paper is an implication of a manifesto,
the piece of paper being in my wallet is a ramification of the manifesto.

an exercise in dramatic irony

i am listening to Petrushka and transcribing journals from nearly a decade ago. it is an exercise in dramatic irony because i know what came within months of those entries. i can see how close i was, how similar my voice, how i teetered on the cusp, how -

and i know how long it took me to return to those ideas and return to that voice, how the intervening years allowed me to make that voice my own. how the slightest shift in intent can make all the difference.

last night i dreamed...

cat puke dreams of San Francisco with two tone pigeons on the roof and dog hair in my mouth.

i laid down next to her in the floor and twice she pulled her hand away. washing off my mala in the sink before leaving, pedestrian incantations of protection as i walk to the station. i'm leaving on the train, unsure of my return to Manhattan, staring at John Jay's mansion on the hill.

just finished...

a bio of Burroughs in Paris and i'm half-mad from the reading. i'm thinking in cut-ups and scrying into pearls, hoping for a string, seeking some semblance of reason. my head aches, and i studied today accounts of me, aged 22, and madly in love. i am conducting surveys (of one) via text and answering questions about my relation to Lloyd Dobler.

this is just the beginning.

the limits of my intelligence...

fall short somewhere this side of French films directed by Chinese directors. i saw today The Flight of the Red Balloon, and upon leaving the proprietor(ess) asked me what i thought of it. i told her i was not smart enough to watch that movie unaccompanied, but that i enjoyed very much the use of rack focus and window panes. somehow this conversation led to her recommending a film called Into Great Silence which is apparently nearly 3 hours long, set in a monastery, and completely silent.

sounds like a great date movie...

flirting through indeterminacy

there was a line out the door of the ice cream parlor, and i would have fled if not for the cute girl behind the counter. so instead i concocted an experiment with the following criteria for placing my order:

1) if other than cute girl, order chocolate.
2) if cute girl, ask her favorite flavor, and order in a come-hither manner.

i got the cute girl and was thus treated to a delicious coconut ice cream with chocolate chips and almonds.

spiders, Charlotte & the art of the brief layover

so i sat next to a woman on the plane and we talked about 8 inch spiders and formaldehyde. as the conversation progressed, i learned that she was from Ohio and suddenly everything seemed so much clearer because...

"dude, people talk to you if you're from Ohio."